I used to feel like my life was a romantic comedy. All rom-commy type things would happen to me and honestly, I kind of loved it. Even the sad parts. Right now my life is more like a sad spinster movie where a girl has no boyfriends or cute stories to tell…it’s so boring and pathetic, people don’t even make movies like that. This sad-lonely-spinster lifestyle is mostly due to my class load this semester and the lack of attractive people I’m encountering lately. The good-looking people I do run into usually are already taken (big surprise), really weird, total jerks, heart-wrenchingly dumb or bat for the same team.
I hardly have time to sleep and finish all my homework that I couldn’t even imagine dating, but it would at least be nice to have the option, you know?! People are always, “Oh Thuy Lan, you’re going to be such a great wife/mother someday,” and I’m just like ughhh. Can’t a girl just get a break? Or a date first? I don’t really don’t want to do all the pampering. Sure I can cook and make all sorts of wonderful things but it sure would be nice to have someone make me all sorts of nice and wonderful things.
But if you’re interested here are some conditions you have to meet:
•don’t be old, like over 26
•don’t be creepy
•don’t be CLINGY omg, I don’t need to talk to you all day I have a life you know
•be sort of tall
•don’t judge how I act around my besties (we’re odd)
•be strong & handy (can you change a tire? fix broken house things?)
•have a nice smile
•like food (including the spicy kind)
•don’t like Nickelback and/or wear fedoras, Ed Hardy, Affliction, socks with strappy sandals, flat brimmed hats with the stickers still on them
*BIG plus- have a dog
Don’t worry guys, I’m not a hypocrite. I’ll list cool things about me too so we’re all even:
I’ve got a pretty nice smile (I floss everyday), I can cook and bake, I clean, I’m pretty smart, I play fantasy football & I can fix things (garbage disposal and I can jump a car battery now).
Cons: I’m short (could be good though?), I’m really busy all the time, my face is really round, I think one of my eyes is smaller than the other, I’m blind without contacts/glasses, I have a really low tolerance for people that love the sound of their own voices, say stupid things & lack common sense; I can’t dance, I have bitchy resting face.
Now you’re wondering why I went into all of that. It ties into my rom com theme. Rom coms make me think of sad girls eating Ben & Jerry’s and brownies. I actually don’t do that though. I opt for carbs in the form of pasta or pizza or fries. But if you must, eat these brownies. They’re super awesome. Indulge, friends.
One Pan (& a baking dish) Brownies
1 cup butter (I substitute half the butter for greek yogurt sometimes)
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2/3 cup cocoa powder
1 cup flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
3/4 cup dark chocolate chips/chunks
Preheat oven to 350°.
1. Melt butter in saucepan.
2. Remove from heat, add cocoa powder.
3. Stir in sugar.
4. Stir in eggs, flour, salt, vanilla & baking powder.
5. Mix in the dark chocolate chunks.
6. Pour into parchment-lined 8×8 baking dish or a larger dish for thinner brownies.
7. Bake for 35 minutes or until toothpick comes out relatively clean (I like a couple crumbs stuck to it so they’re all fudgy inside)